* 1966 born in Hagen, North Rhine-Westphalia
University of Hagen; studies in philosophy
University of Television and Film Munich
UCLA Department of Art
/
Past events and their impact on daily life grabbed my attention on different levels since my teenage years. I am still perplexed by the fact, that it takes the most accurate intellectuals efforts to uncover hidden connections, which influence my daily affairs as well the structures of the society I am living in. Although there does not exist any direct artistic correspondence to my photos and paintings, I am adding 3 documents, which mirror these impacts onto myself.
The first document (a) is a record of an early memory, drawn up within a distance of more than 40 years.
The second one (b) is a paragraph out of Klaus Mann’s prologue for his autobiography THE TURNING POINT. Although momentous in terms of tonality, it was intriguing to apply his thoughts onto my own descent als well as onto other ones. Particularly the contrast of dated pathos and factual clarification was touching to me, maybe because it seemed to be a peaceful product of a former, angry despair.
The last document (c) is a photo of one of 3 shops, which belonged to a business my grandfather was running in the City of Hagen since the mid-30ties. After 40 years my father decided to terminate this successful business, against the explicit wish of my grandfather, thus pushing his career as a marketing manager within computer businesses.
/ a I think I was about 6 years old, when I noticed something unknown, while falling asleep. Without any transition pale, big, soft rounded forms appeared front of me. I could not recognize, whether they were very big or small. Although I was not able to touch them, I was sure they would feel soft and nice.
Then I felt myself falling into them. This was paradox because the impression of falling stood into contradiction to the view, which always kept the same distance. I started to feel spinning myself between the inner and the outer of the geometrically shaped bodies... Soon I felt asleep.
After noticing these forms a couple of times while going to bed, I thought by myself: If I would see these forms in my daily life, I would be very frightened of their sudden appearance, their closeness, their strange light, their pale surface. I also would feel great fear, because I was not I able to see my parents, nor my brother, my friends or my toys... In fact, they gave me a feeling of comfort and gentle warmth. Then these forms disappeared.
Years later I was fascinated by the idea of grasping presence: Focussing myself on presence and noticing that presence always had passed, when I thought I just had grasped it... Is the presence in me? Or is it me being within the presence? I had a feeling of spinning, spinning rapidly between two places, in and out, similiar to the moment of falling asleep as a child. Some of my abstract photos remind me of this moment.
[ 2008 ]
/ b Undoubtedly we are more - something weirder and greater - than our biography indicates and our consciousness grasps. Nobody nothing is disconnected. A comprehensive rhythm determines our thoughts. Our individual destinies are interwoven with the texture of a vast mosaic portraying
and developing throughout the centuries the same age-old patterns. Every movement we make repeats an ancestral rite and at the same time foreshadows the attitudes of future generations. Even the most solitary experiences of our heart anticipate or echo the repertoire of past or coming passions.
Klaus Mann; The Turning Point © Markus Wiener Publishers
/ c
Photo: E. Bastian; 1950